


I Want In!

by SinTheSlinky



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And decided flirting was the best way to escape the situation, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Competition, Evil AU, Evil Hunk, Evil Lance, Evil Pidge, Gay Keith (Voltron), He calls Lance pretty boy, Keith in makeup, Keith is a femme fatale, Keith stumbled into their lair chasing his cat, Lance is a villian, M/M, Not as gay chapter two but still pretty gay, Sassy Keith (Voltron), This gets really gay really fast, Unbeta'ed, Voltron, Voltron is their evil organization, a lot of flirting, police officer shiro, roasting fest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-10-29 19:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10860699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinTheSlinky/pseuds/SinTheSlinky
Summary: Honestly, I don't know where the plot is going. As of chapter 2:Keith has found himself the new security guard of a notorious group of criminals known as Voltron after abandoning his job as a peaceful librarian and chasing his cat blindly.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta'ed, but if anyone is interested in beta'ing this fic for me hmu @we.are.number.pun on IG with some of your writing (with dialogue) and the email you'd use to access a google doc!
> 
> This is based on a writing prompt I found funny. It probs won't be too long since the school year is ending which means finals so not much time. *screm*

Lance was practically sleeping when he heard the intruder proximity alarm go off. He woke up instantly and grabbed his gun from his belt. His free hand clicked his earpiece in order to contact his friend, “Hunk! What’s going on?!”

“I don’t know! I’m checking all the cameras and I don’t see anyone!” A voice panicked from his earpiece.

“Shit! We’re so close to finishing building Blue! We can’t let anything get in the way. Contact Pidge and tell them to come help me find this intruder!”

“Gotcha! I’ll stay on the cams and contact you if I see anything!” The audio clicked off and Lance started to sprint out of his room. He and his friends had been working on a powerful weapon for the last four years and it was finally nearing completion. It would be stronger than all the current technology on the planet at the time if atomic bombs didn’t count. He dashed through the hallways of their lair when he heard the sounds of someone else running. It didn’t sound like Pidge. Their running was softer and the steps were slower since they took wider steps to make up for their short legs. He knew it had to be the intruder. He stopped at the corner and peeked around. There stood a stranger, clad in all black everywhere but his eyes. He looked determined and frustrated. Lance assumed he was a spy looking for Blue. That is until he felt something rub around his leg. He looked down and a small, black cat was circling his leg. He lowered his gun and grabbed the cat by the scruff of its neck. He carefully turned the corner and made eye contact with the stranger. The stranger seemed relieved to see him. So much so that he started walking towards him.

“Hold up. Who the hell are you?” Lance hissed and gestured to his gun to alert the stranger to the fact that he was armed.

“Uh...Keith? Who the hell are you?” He responded and took another step towards Lance.

“Lance? As in Lance of Voltron? On the most wanted list?” A hand went to his chest, showing he was offended. How did this  _ peasant _ not know who he was? He was on the top ten most wanted list of the state for Christ’s sake.

“Okay? Congrats, I guess? Can I have my cat back?” Keith looked vaguely annoyed as he stretched out his arm and pointed to the cat hanging from Lance’s hand.

“Do you really not know who I am? And no. Not until you tell me how you found this place and I’m convinced you’re not a spy.”

“Listen, I could really care less who you are or why you think I’m a spy. I just want my cat.”

“You can have your cat if you come with me to the interrogation room.”

“Will this take long? I have to go to work in like two hours.”

“Depends how compliant you are.”

“Whatever. Lead the way.” Keith shrugged and rolled his eyes. Lance would not stand for this. No one rolled his eyes at him.  _ Him, _ the damn founder of Voltron. He walked over to the intruder and poked his gun into his back.

“Let’s go.” Lance led him to Voltron’s improvised interrogation room as he contacted Hunk and Pidge.

“Found the intruder. It’s some emo douche bag who claims he was chasing his cat. I’ve got it handled. Keep working on Blue.”

“Pidge is working on Blue, but I’m going to go look for the blind spots and set up more cameras,” Hulk responded. A few seconds later, Pidge spoke into the earpiece as well, “Don’t forget to check him for weapons.”

“Got it,” Lance muttered as he and Keith reached the room. He pushed open the door and locked it behind them upon entering. He set the cat down and slipped the gun into his belt. 

“Stand still facing the wall,” He ordered and Keith did just that with a confused look. He started to pat him down, starting from his shoulders. He reached his waist and felt lumps in his jacket pockets. He reached into both; from one he pulled a phone and from the other a switchblade. He set both on the table before continuing down. He reached a belt and found a dagger tucked into it. He confiscated this too. After setting it too onto the table, he squatted down and started going up Keith’s legs. He managed to find four throwing knives and a hair tie. Looking for his cat? Sure. That’s why he needs six total weapons.

“You done feeling me up, yet, pretty boy?” Keith huffed. Lance scoffed.

“Yeah. And I’ll take that as a compliment. I am pretty.”

“Pretty annoying.” The intruder muttered under his breath, but Lance still heard it.

“Take a look at your circumstances and then decide if you’re in a position to make jokes right now,” He hissed shoved Keith into the wall without warning. The other winced in pain and grumbled an apology. It was clear it wasn’t sincere, but Lance wasn’t looking for sincerity. He was looking for respect. He grabbed Keith by the shoulder, spun him around and pulled down his hood and the cloth covering the majority of his face. Damn, he was gorgeous, but Lance was not here to flirt.

“Go take a seat while I put your crap somewhere you can’t get it without my help.” Keith refused to listen this time.  
“ _I said,_ go take a seat, Mullet,” Lance glared, eyeing the other’s hairdo.

“F*ck you,” He growled in response and in protest, sat on the table. “You said take a seat. You didn’t say where.”

“In the chair.” The brunet grabbed the weapons and the phone and shoved them into an expandable bag he’d pulled out of his pocket. He put it over his shoulder and wore it like a satchel. He looked at Keith and he looked like he was in deep thought.  
“Earth to edgy intruder. Get your ass into a chair.”

“How bout I get my ass up against you instead,” He muttered nonchalantly. Lance took a moment to process what he’d said and nearly coughed. This wasn’t the end, though. Keith slipped off the desk and strutted over to Lance, getting him to back up to the wall. He practically draped himself over the brunet. 

Under normal circumstances, Lance would be thrilled, but it was so sudden and unexpected that he was too flustered to resist. He stuttered out some unintelligent noises and Keith smirked in response, “Not so confident now? I thought it was hot.” Lance was deceased. He reached up and muted his earpiece just in case.

“What are you doing?” He practically squeaked. Keith’s eyes narrowed in what looked like thought, but seconds later he felt something sharp against his neck. He glanced down with his eyes and saw the dagger he’d confiscated minutes earlier.

“You’d think you’d be harder to fool considering you’re on the most wanted list or whatever,” Keith snickered before continuing, “But it looks like all the police need is a pretty face and some flirting. Lucky for you, I’m not with the police. Nor do I give a crap about whatever the hell ‘Blue’ is. All I know is that I want in.”

Lance was ready for a death threat. He was ready for Keith to say he was going to call the cops or the feds. He was not ready for Keith to ask to join the team. Like hell that was happening. He didn’t trust this guy at all.

“Want reasoning? Here: my normal job is boring, my cat likes it here, my interest is piqued, it seems like I’d actually get to use my knives here, and you,” Keith paused before winking at Lance, “have a nice ass. Plus you don’t have much choice in this. Let me join or I stab you and call the cops.”

Lance being ready for a death threat? Try Lance being ready for death. How was he supposed to explain to his friends why he was letting a complete stranger join the team without explaining Keith had beaten him using flirting.

“I guess we could use some extra security considering how easily you got in. I’m not paying you though.”

“You have food and extra rooms here?”

“Well, duh? We live here.”

“Then I don’t need pay. I’ll be back later, pretty boy. I’ve got to go grab my things,” Keith grinned smugly and grabbed the bag with his things from Lance as well as the other’s gun. He unloaded it and handed it back to him as he pressed a kiss to Lance’s jaw. The newest member of Voltron unlocked the door to the room and strutted out, his cat following after him, leaving Lance starstruck against the wall, holding his empty gun and rubbing the spot Keith had kissed him with two fingers. He pulled them away and saw they were now stained dark red. He hadn’t even noticed, but the other had been wearing lipstick. This guy was going to kill him. He slid down to the floor and hit his head backward against the wall a few times.

\----

Keith had no idea what he was doing, but when he got stuck in that room with that annoying asshole without anything to protect him, he decided that trying to flirt his way out of the problem would be the best course of action. He didn’t realize it would actually work. Lance seemed to practically melt when he started to flirt. Maybe that was why he decided to declare he’d be joining Voltron. He wanted to mess with Lance more. He wasn’t really interested in Lance, but he was interested in annoying him. The trick would be keeping up appearances with his brother often enough for him not to get suspicious. His brother, also known as Shiro, was not only in law enforcement but in charge of the investigation into Voltron. He’d decided to play completely dumb with Lance, but he did know some stuff about them. Keeping the fact that he was part of Voltron from the head of the Voltron investigation would certainly prove interesting in the future.

He picked up his cat and put him in the bag he’d stolen from Lance after he’d put his knives back on his person. He grabbed his motorbike and drove home to his apartment. He packed his suitcases with toiletries, lactase pills, makeup, laptop, and favorite clothes. He didn’t take everything. He had bought the apartment so there was no need to. He would leave his things there so if Shiro ever wanted to visit, he still could. Keith also grabbed his cat’s things. He packed it into a sidecar he’d bought for his motorbike that had been previously been unused. He drove straight back to the base he’d stumbled upon and parked the bike behind the building. It looked like a storage shed from the outside, but when you went inside, you could go downstairs and reach the Voltron base. He grabbed his things and entered the base. He ignored the alarms going off. He heard someone running towards him, but this time it wasn’t Lance. It was someone much shorter.

Keith glared when they pointed a glowing weapon at him, “Where’s Lance?”

“Why?”

“I told him I was coming back? Did you not tell you? I’m going to be joining you guys as extra security,” He explained and felt slightly annoyed when the shorter still didn’t lower their weapon. Instead, they reached for their earpiece.

“LANCE! That edgy guy you mentioned earlier is back!” Keith heard some groaning and swears. They were that loud. He blinked and watched as the other listened begrudgingly to who he assumed was Lance. They eventually lowered their weapon and relaxed.

“Guess you’re one of us now. I don’t trust you, but I’ll play nice. Name’s Pidge. I’m the techie and can and will find out everything about you easily so if you have anything important to say, say it now.”

“Uh okay. I’m Keith. I have a cat and my brother is the head of the investigation into Voltron so if you guys want I can give you updates on what the police are doing.”

“YOUR BROTHER IS WHAT??” Keith grinned. There’s Lance.

“Pretty boy! Nice of you to show up,” He smirked as Lance’s eyes widened at the new information.

“Don’t call me that! Especially in front of the others!” His second sentence was quieter and Keith could swear he saw Lance blushing. He looked over at Pidge who just glared back. “You didn’t think to tell me that before?”

“Nah. I don’t plan on telling him anything. He’s a spoilsport who wants me to not even own knives,” Keith huffed. “The only thing he’s good for is eyeliner tips and reaching high shelves.” Lance let out an inhumane whine that was almost comical. “So care to show me around?”

“Fine, but we’re discussing your brother later, mullet-head!”

And with that, Lance began the tour of the base. Keith met Hunk who was more welcoming that Pidge was. He gave him a hug and complimented his makeup. How could such a nice guy end up being a notorious criminal he didn’t understand. He was shown the training area and the areas he’d be in charge of patrolling. They skipped past a room that had over 5 locks on it. Keith made a note to himself to check it out later. Then Lance led him to his room.

“Settle in. I’ll be back in ten minutes and we’ll discuss the issue of your brother. Also- the cat is yours so no asking us for help. See you soon, Mullet, but this time no flirting or touching.”

“Alright, we can discuss Shiro, but I can’t promise I won’t flirt or touch,” Keith winked. He didn’t know why he continued the flirting. He had no reason to. Maybe because it made him feel sexy or maybe it was because it made Lance so flustered. Maybe it was a mix of the two. Either way, Lance practically sprinted out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Keith snickered at Lance’s response and then helped his cat, Red, out of the bag she’d been in. He set out her things in one corner of the room and then put his clothes into the small closet standing in the opposite corner of the room. His makeup and toiletries went into the bathroom that was attached to his room. His laptop and its charger went under his bed and his pills went on top of his nightstand which was basically just a wooden block with a small lamp on it. He had just finished laying out his things when Lance reentered his room.

“You good?” He muttered, refusing to make eye contact at the moment.

“Yeah. So...my brother?”

“How do I know you won’t stay here to spy on us and report back to him whenever you’re not with us?” Lance frowned and finally looked up to meet Keith’s eyes.

“You don’t,” Keith responded bluntly.

“This is a predicament.”

“Well, I told you guys that he was my brother. Would that have been a smart move if I was here to spy on you?”

“It is if you’re using reverse psychology.”

“I’m not a cop and I don’t get anything out of helping my brother.”

“So what are you?”  
“Well I’m your security guard now, but I was a librarian.”

“Why the hell do you have so many knives then?”

“Cause I like knives…?” Keith cocked a brow. He didn’t think it weird for him to be fascinated by them. They were sleek and deadly and beautiful.

“So you’re just weird?”

“That’s your opinion.”

“Okay, Mullet. I just had an idea. I’ll put an audio transmitter on you 24/7. That way I always know what you’re saying.”

“That’s creepy and invasive.” Keith did not like this idea. He needed his privacy.

“Either that or I kill you.” The way he said it made Keith understand he wasn’t joking.

“Fine. Now then, care to tell me why you didn’t explain to Pidge that I would be joining the team?” Keith shifted closer to Lance and drummed his fingers on the other’s thigh.

“Cause they’d blame me for thinking with my dick or make fun of me for losing to flirts.”

“Well that’s exactly what happened so I think those treatments would be fair,” He snickered and plopped himself into Lance’s lap and leaned against him. “You’re comfy.”

“Dude. Get off,” Lance whined, clearly flustered at the proximity. Keith only pouted in response and nuzzled his head into the crook of Lance’s neck.

“Don’t want to.” Keith wanted to wrap this boy around his finger and it seemed the fastest way to do that was to get physically close to him. Keith, personally, hated being too close to people and normally needed at least a yard of personal space in either direction. The reactions he got from Lance made it worth the slight discomfort, however. He could feel Lance’s heart racing, but it soon slowed down. He frowned slightly and glanced up at Lance. He suddenly looked smug and before he knew what was happening he was on his back pinned at his hips between the other’s legs.

“The tables have turned, Mullet. You wanna play this game? I’ll play it too,” Lance smirked and patted Keith’s, now bright red, cheeks. “You’re cute when you blush, but I need you to realize that I’m in charge.” His voice was a low growl, but Keith was stubborn and kept eye contact with him.

“We’ll see, pretty boy,” He teased and lifted his hips up to knock Lance off balance long enough to gain an upper hand and get out from under him. “Better go do my job. Find me when you have the audio transmitter or whatever so you can stalk me.” With that, Keith left the room, leaving Lance with a grin on his lips.

Both had one objective regarding the other and that was to gain the upper hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot development if you use a magnifying glass  
> Mostly just a filler chapter to characterize everyone and how they interact with each other  
> Lots of roasting  
> Not a lot of flirting cause Keith and Lance don't interact as much this chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be trying to write more since school is officially over for me and I have literally no summer plans till mid through late July and then the end of August. Maybe I'll even establish an updating schedule! Probably not, but I can dream!

“So...Keith, huh?” Pidge hummed as they continued to type at a million miles an hour on their neon green laptop. Neither Lance nor Hunk could look right at it; it was such a bright color. Pidge was sat against Blue, a piping cup of coffee next to them.

Lance could only roll his eyes in response to his friend’s prodding. He knew Pidge would pick up on whatever was going on between him and Keith. There was no way around it. Sooner or later the gremlin would probably figure out the exact feelings of both of them so Lance knew the best course of action would probably be to just tell them the truth, but where was the fun in that? “Ah yes. Keith. The annoying fucker who so graciously _blessed_ our team with his presence last week. The one who acts like he owns the place and refuses to respect me. Me! His boss!” Lance squawked, pacing back and forth quickly a few feet in front of Pidge. His hands were shoved in his jacket pockets and he was leaning downwards slightly.

“Someone doesn’t like the new kid,” Pidge snickered, glancing up from their laptop for a second. They didn’t stop typing despite not actually looking at their screen. Lance’s was impressed slightly by the skill but didn’t say anything. Pidge’s ego was big enough already without him further feeding it. “I think he’s pretty cool. He likes conspiracy theories like me and is super into space stuff too.” By now, Pidge had stopped looking at Lance and their eyes went back to their screen. Their eyes had bags under them and Lance wondered when the last time Pidge had slept was. He felt responsible for them so he made a mental note to make sure they slept later.

“Does he flirt with you?” Lance spit out quickly, regretting it seconds later. Pidge was definitely going to figure out why he asked this or interrogate him about it. He stopped pacing and decided to plop down next to his friend.

Pidge had shut their laptop after they heard the question. They turned to face Lance and set the laptop next to them. “Uh...no? I think that dude’s the least flirtatious person I’ve ever met.” It seemed like Pidge was smiling from amusement. “You worried about Keith trying to woo me? I appreciate the sentiment, _dad_.” They paused and studied Lance’s face. After a moment, it looked like a light bulb had gone off in their head. “Oh my god, Lance. Are you _jealous_?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes at the accusation. “No to both of those, but speaking of me being a dad, when was the last time you had a wink of sleep, Pidge?” Lance leaned closer and pulled on one of the bags under Pidge’s eyes.

“Two days ago? I’ve been on a roll with this code, Lance. Time is a construct. It’s not real. I don’t need sleep,” Pidge huffed, turning their head up and to the side. Looking away had been a bad idea, however, as soon as Lance heard their answer, he picked them up and threw them over his shoulder. “Lance put me down! I need to finish the code!”

“What you need is sleep, Pidge.” He got a series of punches to the back in response. Lance rolled his eyes and carried them all the way to their room. He got a confused look from Hunk on the way there. Once he was at Pidge’s room, he popped open their door and flung them onto the bed. They landed with a soft thump. “Go to sleep. You’re not coming out till dinner, understand?” Lance looked expectantly at Pidge as he rounded up all the electronics in their room, even the ones hidden in their closet and bathroom.

“I understand, _dad_.”

“Good.” And with that, Lance slipped out of Pidge’s room and back into the hallway, his arms filled with electronics. He headed towards his room when he saw Keith coming out of his own. How Pidge thought he wasn’t flirtatious at all, was insane. That guy probably seduced people on a daily basis with how he was treating Lance. But Lance was too strong to fall for Keith that easily. He walked into his room and dumped all of Pidge’s stuff in the one place they wouldn’t go, his closet. Ever since Pidge had seen the life-size pillow of Deadpool he had in there, they refused to go anywhere near it. They did, however, enjoy teasing him about it whenever they saw him flirting with someone else.

“Hey,” Hunk’s head popped in in the doorway. “Why were you carrying Pidge around?” He walked in after Lance had turned and acknowledged his friend’s presence.

“They haven’t slept in at least two days so I had to take initiative,” Lance explained, sighing in exasperation. “This project is important to me too, but they need to take care of themselves first. Same goes for you. You guys come first.”

“You seem tense.” Hunk gave him a coy smile and sat down on Lance’s bed. He patted the spot next to him before continuing. “You don’t lecture us on self-care unless you start lacking in it somehow. Trust me. I’m your best friend; I know these things.” Lance wordlessly agreed and plopped down next to his friend. He relaxed against him. “Spill, dude. What’s bugging you?”

“This project is so close to being done and I’m worried something is going to go wrong either right before it’s done or while one of us is using it. I don’t want any of you getting hurt. I’m just anxious, Hunk.” Lance said. “And it’s keeping me up at up night, sometimes.” He looked at his hands and pouted at the condition of his nails. They’d been pristine last week, but were currently chewed and picked down with blood crusted along the sides of some of them. Biting his nails was a nasty habit that surfaced whenever he got nervous.

“I get it. This project is basically your baby. You gotta trust me and Pidge, though. We know what we’re doing and we’re going to quadruple check everything before anyone steps into the thing.” Hunk noticed where Lance was looking and sighed softly. “Your nails will grow back eventually, Lance. You’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” He reassuringly rubbed his friend’s back.

“But what if we aren’t? I’ve been thinking of all our past runs and all the times you or Pidge have almost gotten hurt and how scared I’ve gotten. Blue is more dangerous than all of those runs combined. Don’t get me wrong. Blue is a good chunk of my world, but you two will always be more important to me.”

“Lance. We will be fine. Blue has been your endgame since forever and now she’s almost done. You can’t give up on her. She _will_ work. It’s anxiety that’s scaring you, not reality. She’s practically foolproof, but if it makes you feel safer, we can use a robot to do the first few test runs?” Hunk suggested, hoping he could find a way to soothe Lance’s nerves. “How about we go to the kitchen and have ourselves some ice cream to relax?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice. Thanks, Hunky.” Lance didn’t make an effort to move just yet and closed his eyes instead.

“I’ll even give you a piggy-back ride to the kitchen, but you’re walking back.” The smaller brunette perked up at this and almost instantly grabbed onto Hunk as a baby koala would to its mother.

“Deal! Onwards!”

\---

Pidge had slept for over 15 hours, but when they woke they ran straight to Lance's room, not minding the fact that it was early in the morning, at least for Lance it was.

"Hey, dip-shit! Give me my tech back!" They screeched, pouncing onto the sleeping lump. Their attack was returned with a loud whine and a counter attack. Lance had jumped up and covered them in the blanket instead, successfully trapping them in it.

"Goddammit, Pidge! I need my beauty sleep!"

"Hell yeah, you do!" The muffled remark from under the sheets did not amuse Lance in the slightest.

"In that case, it's in my closet. Get it yourself!" Lance huffed and lifted the sheets off of them.

"Ew no! You have that weird pillow in there and god knows what you do with it. I don't want to be anywhere near it!" Pidge's face scrunched up in disgust at the thought.

"I do not fuck the pillow, you damn gremlin," he said monotonously, narrowing his eyes at his friend.

"You don't? Pidge! You lied to me!" Both Lance and Pidge turned to the doorway to see Keith standing there, clearly hurt at the idea of being lied to.

"You told Keith I fuck the pillow? Pidge, why do you betray me like this?" Lance choked and pulled the blanket over himself.

"I thought he did! It's not my fault!" Pidge muttered before turning to face Lance again, "Lance, stop being a drama queen. He asked for blackmail and supplied. It's not like I didn't get anything in return. I know lots of juicy details about him that weren't available online! For the correct payment, you can get those. I do not take sides." At this, Lance peeked out from under the covers.

"I may take you up on that offer later, but right now, get your stuff and leave. Both of you!"

"Nah. I want to see this pillow." Keith turned to face the closet and stepped into the room.

"Grab my stuff while you're there?" Pidge asked, now sitting at the edge of the bed.

"If you promise not to spill _that_ secret," Keith bartered, heading towards the closet and grabbing the handle.

"Ugh, fine." With that, Keith opened the closet door and reached in.

"Keith, no!" Lance gripped, but it was futile; Keith had already pulled the pillow out from the closet.

"Oh my god! You have definitely fucked the pillow," he wheezed, looking it over, front and back. Lance was back under the blanket again, curled up behind where Pidge was laughing their ass off. Keith threw the pillow back into the closet and grabbed all of Pidge's tech which he promptly dropped into their arms.

"Thanks, my emo friend. Your secret is safe with me!" The shorted winked before running out of the room and towards where Keith assumed their lab was.

After a few moments of Keith awkwardly staring in silence at the ball under the covers that Lance had become, he sat down where Pidge had been.

"So what led you to even buy that... _thing_ in the first place?"

"I was drunk and I'd just seen the Deadpool movie. And no, I have not fucked the pillow. I'm not that pathetic." The lump shifted a bit and it looked like Lance was considering popping his head out from under the covers.

"You aren't?"

"I don't need your sass right now, Kogane."

"That's debatable, but it is past eleven so you should probably get up and actually start your day," Keith shrugged and pulled back the covers to Lance's shoulders. "Hunk and I already ate breakfast, but there're some pancakes left."

Lance wasn't happy about it, but he did have to admit, he was already awake at this point. "I'll get up in a few, but first I have some questions for you, buddy!"

"If I answer them will you get your lazy ass out of bed?"

"Yes. Now then! You haven't said a single flirtatious thing to me this entire morning and you, _apparently_ , don't flirt with Pidge. What gives?"

"I'm not normally super flirtatious? You thought I was usually like that?" Keith laughed, patting the bed a few times.

"You're not...?"

"Not at all. I hate socializing. I avoided almost all social contact before I joined you guys. I only started flirting with you as to not die and to maintain some control."

"Then why'd you keep doing it?" Lance inquired, actually surprised at Keith's answers.

"Because I want you wrapped around my finger," Keith answered honestly, tapping Lance's nose with his index finger.

"Not happening. If anything, it'll be the other way round!" The brunet defended, swatting Keith's hand away.

"Sure. That it for your questions?" Sarcasm was practically dripping from his words.

"One more. Why the lipstick?"

" _Aesthetic_ : it completes my look."

"Fair enough. Alright now get out of my room so I can get dressed in peace before I go get some of Hunky's pancakes," Lance shooed and Keith obliged.

"Aesthetic, huh?" The brunet scoffed and slid out of the bed after Keith shut the door behind himself. He walked over to his closet and pulled out his outfit for the day before heading to the bathroom to shower and complete his daily skin care ritual.

By the time he was done and made his way to the kitchen, Pidge was already eating the extra pancakes from earlier.

"Leave me some!" Lance cried in horror as he sprinted to the table and grabbed two of the pancakes from the plate.

"I wasn't planning on eating all of them anyways," Pidge rolled their eyes as Lance went to grab a plate to put the pancakes on.

"How was I supposed to know that? Sometimes you inhale enough food for an army in one sitting!"

"I do not!"

"I don't even know how you remain so tiny!"

"Fuck off!" Pidge glared and threw a piece of pancake at him. "I'm bite size!"

The rest of breakfast, or rather, brunch proceeded in a similar fashion, snarky remarks thrown back in forth, as well as food.

\---

"So do I ever get to see Blue?"

"You're just security so you have no reason to plus Lance is worried that you'll spill about her to your brother if you know too much," Pidge muttered as they tinkered with a small robot. They were leaning against Keith's bed and Keith was playing with Red next to them.

"I'm guessing a week of stalking everything I said didn't prove I was trustworthy enough?"

"To him? Nope. Plus I was the one who listened to the audio anyways." Pidge set the robot down on their other side and turned to face Keith. "Speaking of that audio...care to explain all the blatant flirting?"

"I thought Lance was going to go through the audio," Keith laughed nervously, hoping that answer would be enough. To his chagrin, it was not.

"My question still stands," They said in a singsong voice.

"I don't know," Keith sighed, "I started flirting when he caught me and then I kept doing it because I wanted him to know I wasn't just going to bow down to his authority and then it turned into me wanted to get him 'wrapped around my finger' in a way, but at this point I have enough blackmail against him that I don't need that to get him to do what I want so I don't really have to keep flirting. During the audio stalking thing, I was still in that wanting to get him 'wrapped around my finger' stage, but I'm still flirting now and I don't know why."

"Let me introduce you to this little idea called," Pidge suddenly got louder, "You have a crush on Lance!"

"I do not. Crushes are for kids. Plus Lance is super annoying," Keith rolled his eyes at the idea after mulling it over in his head for a minute or so.

"Whatever you say, Keithy," Pidge nodded, making it clear to him that they didn't believe a word he said. They turned to face forwards again and picked up their robot, continuing to tinker.

"Anyways, have you seen the news? There was another Mothman sighting!" Keith mentioned, deciding to change the subject to something he was more comfortable with.

"Really? Give me details!"

"He was spotted by a group of boy scouts out camping in the woods. He stole their hats, bags, and clothes while they were sleeping so they had to leave the forest in just their pajamas. One of the boys was awake though. He said he saw Mothman come and take their things!"

"Mothman needs his food! Sucks for the boys though, they must've lost their sashes, the ones with all their patches?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure they can just get new ones."

"True." Pidge nodded their head, not looking up from their robot now as they intently concentrated on one component of it.

"I hate to interrupt your immensely interesting conversation, but Hunk told me to get your input on what you want for dinner today. The choices are noodles, beef stew, or picadillo. I've already put in my vote so what do you two want?"

"I'm always up for noodles!" Keith punched his arm into the air, accidentally managing to swat himself in the face with the cat toy that had been dangling from his fist. He dropped the toy and went to rub where it had hit him.

After stifling a laugh, Pidge also agreed to noodles. Lance groaned at their decision, having wanted to have picadillo that night. "I'll go tell Hunk. Also- Keith?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not annoying." With that, Lance left the room.

Keith felt his blood go cold as he reached up to his earpiece and found it was on.

"Why are you so worked up?" Pidge cocked a brow at him.

"My earpiece has been on the whole time!" He panicked as he shut it off.

"So?"

"He heard all my worries about the flirting and you accusing me of having a crush on him!"

"Well if you don't have a crush on him then why are you worried?"

"It's still an embarrassing conversation to overhear!" He explained further, burying his face in his hands.

"Relax. The worst he can do is use it to fuel his ego or tease you."

"I guess," Keith saw their perspective and calmed slightly as he reached to pick the cat toy back up.

"If anything he probably has a crush on you." Pidge shrugged.

"He what?"

"I mean, you're his type so I don't see why he wouldn't."

"I doubt it. He doesn't like me at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, my dudes! Comment any critiques you may have below! Or comment puns. Puns are great.

**Author's Note:**

> /Give me criticism and prompts for future chapters my dudes. If I use a prompt you suggest, I'll credit you at the beginning of the chapter/


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